Har Ek Friend Zarrori hota hai yarrr...!!!

 “A friend is someone who lets you have the total freedom to be yourelf”-Jim Morrison

Have you observed the Airtel ad “Har Ek Friend zarrori hota hai..??”   and the new Vodafone  Facebook ad ?? My Facebook notifications are full of these videos shared by many friends. The video has  frequently appeared on my updates. I have been thinking whether friendship is limited to glossy ads and ‘feel good factor’, or romanticizing an emotion, or hyped  movies, or social networking sites, or does it go beyond consumerism?
Who is a friend? Remember Shahrukh’s statement in Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai: pyar dosti hai… Love is friendship…. ?
In school we were taught in the “colloquial expression” segment of English classes that “A friend in need, is a friend indeed” and “fair weather friends” . When we were asked to write an essay on this subject,  all of us wrote how a friend is one who stands by you in your times of trouble and supports you during all tough situations. However, as we start growing up the significance of a friend starts changing and friendships become  our major experimental steps in the lab of life and experience. It doesn’t remain limited to ‘need’ and give and take, but expands to mean much more.
A few days ago I was discussing with someone regarding friendship and love and whether after falling in love, could you still remain good friends — of course you can remain good friends after being in a relationship. But seriously doubt whether you can remain good friends after a breakup . Breakups are usually taken as ego hurters, and remaining friends ‘inspite’ of everything is a little tough.  They say “friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never”.
However, times are changing and friendships are governed by professional needs. We tend to stumble across the same set of people again and again. In that case, past is past tense and we  transit from the mode of love to friendships.
As I was watching these ads,  I was thinking about my own set of friends, people from school days, college years, where we meet as strangers, fight, but leave a place as friends. I have re-met many of my school friends and college friends on social networking sites, and it has been an absolute delight. However, there is a change that I am observing — a change in emotions, a change in response. Some friends who were distant and indifferent become completely warm, while certain friends who were supposed to be the closest become distant and cold.

From whatever I have learnt in life, categorizing friends is one of the toughest things . However, if someone asked me to categorize my friends, here would be a rough division:
1. The constants: These are friends who have been with you for years. They have seen you through the highs and lows of life. They know without your telling them that there is something right or something wrong in your life. They are the ones you don’t talk to everyday, you might have blamed them for things, but they  come to you the moment you give a call.
2. The Surprises: These are friends who come as surprise packages. You never knew they existed so seriously, so deeply for you. They might be just round the corner, they just take charge when they see you in trouble — a little filmy and a little romantic, but they do exist, quitely observing  your moves, but being there for you and with you.
3. The Fun Bunch: You haven’t thought a single weekend without them. They are the ones who watch the most pathetic love stories with you in the theatre, eat grub on the streets with you, enjoy watching you ask for more golgappas and share the money in restaurants to the last penny.
4.The Critiques: The least noted but the most significant category. They come as friends but they back-stab you, they speak against you in front of others  and in front of yourself — they might be people you trusted, but they used your weakness to climb their own ladder. However, they are the ones who ignite the competitor in you. They are the ones whose words make you work harder on yourself and make you tougher in the battle.
Friends and friendships are a gift. Over the past years, I have been learning a lot about friendships and relationships. In fact, rediscovering friendships. I keep telling that “be grounded, people are your only achievements — if you have people, you will be able to achieve any success of life.  People actually fulfill us, they are indispensable for us to live and survive through phases.”

Before I end, another small fragment from memory regarding  friends of Postgrad days. In case any one of us was upset or angry, we sang these lines:

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindagi hai

Koi to ho raazdaar
Begaraj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raazdaar
Teri har ke buraai pe daante woh dost
Gam ki ho dhoop to saaya bane tera woh dost

Naache bhi woh teri khushi main
aree Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai

Happiness is infectious na? Sadness is also contagious. When we are happy, the world seems to reflect our happiness and especially friends celebrate with us, but if we are sad we are mostly alone, and even if there is a single friend with us, we should consider ourselves fortunate. Friends wait for a single call — you just have to reach out with an open heart and they will be there to hold your hands and stand for you. If you ask me, actually yes “har ek friend zaroori hota hai” . But, yes you have to earn your life long friends….

P.S. : This post is dedicated to all my friends over the past many years.  Whether I met you last month or last year, or in childhood, wherever, you all are… I miss you and cherish each  friendship.